Nothing you can do can really prepare for motherhood. You can read many books and talk to as many mothers experienced as you want, but when it comes to the baby’s voice echoed in his head Ygritte hear:
“You know nothing, new mom.”
These are just some of the things you can expect when you become a mother:
1. Your friends can stop talking to you. I totally understand why this happens. I was guilty of it too. They think you’re underwater with a newborn and does not want to bother.
2. Actually, you’re going to want that interaction. After all, you may be in the weeds with a newborn, but in reality, all they do is eat, sleep and poop and there are a lot of downtime that could be texting your friends. Or begging for a visit.
3. But you probably do not get out there to get that interaction. Since it will be hormonal and think you do not like anymore.
4. Speaking of hormonal, you might have expected to mourn all sorts of strange things after having a baby. Maybe even he joked about it with their friends. But when that commercial ASPCA lights during maternity leave and instantly burst into heartrending cry that … yes. Hormones.
5. You are going to put her husband in the background. For a while at least. In fact, you may be surprised to find yourself forget that they even have a husband at all. The baby will become your sole purpose.
6. When finally cleared for sex by the doctor, you can imagine yourself grabbing his tie in his fist and shouting, “Are you kidding EFFING?”
7. And then your husband will want to have sex with you and you will feel personally offended. Do you even understand what came out of your vag! Na six weeks ago?
8. You will be amazed at how Google manyridiculous things for the baby at 2 AM. Everything from “Is it normal for a baby to poop ten times a day?” A “Has anyone died from lack of sleep?” (Yes, it is, and no, no one has.)
9. Will you get over your repulsion to vomit quickly. The same goes with being sprayed with liquid poop.
10. You’ll feel like you’re wearing an octopus during changes of clothing. How can a baby squirming so much? (Probably should Google it.)
The reality is, you are going to doubt himself as a father. Everyday.
11. You will be surprised how quickly spend the day in the first weeks. You will spend hours on the couch nursing or holding the baby while they sleep, but somehow dinner will come and you have not brushed my teeth.
12. may actually forget to brush your teeth more than once. (It’s okay if you do.)
13. Same with the shower. Unless you’re a mom who has it all together. In that case, tell me your secret.
14. You will feel surprisingly overprotective of your baby and may want to snarl like a mama bear when someone takes your baby. (It’s okay if you do.)
15. Alternatively, it may be so eager to pass the baby so someone can shower that could be sent into a tailspin of guilt. (It’s okay if you do.)
16. Speaking of guilt, people will inevitably feel like I was failing as a parent. You will have a difficult time sticking to their own decisions about what is best for your child.
17. The reality is, you are going to doubt himself as a father. Everyday.