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When someone casually ask if Reese had begun to walk, however, never seemed appropriate to say. “No, Reese is not walking Reese has high quadriplegic cerebral palsy spastic tone. He can never walk. “
that’s one thing i want to talk.
I also want to talk about how difficult it can be.
Reese is a twin. His brother Elliott, has CP. Recently, I made a trip to see family for the weekend. Reese just suit me. I thought it would be so easy, as it was only a child. But it was very difficult and became worse when I realized that you’re not having twins is desperate search me coping skills all the time. It is Reese. Weep for me every time I leave the room. She cries every time she drops a toy. He cries every time you want to move.
When Reese and Elliott are together, as they are most of the time, I can kind of tumor it all together as “they”. But this trip was to call attention to the really different way is Reese.
There are a lot of other things I want to talk, too. As this will be very significant for his brother Elliott. And how suddenly I need to be very skilled finance in order to establish its future, even though I suck at that. What I feel for not having all the time as your attorney to many medical professionals and programs that are involved. How difficult it is in my body, for your body all the time. How this has affected all my relationships and makes me feel especially isolated from the world. And also, the unexpected and growing understanding that the day Reese was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, so was I.
It is not easy for me to make these complaints to an unknown audience. This is your life, and it seems in bad taste to focus on the way it has been for me. But I do not think that’s true of me to pretend I’m some kind of martyr mother, either.
I need to talk about all these things. Probably a group, or a counselor, because it is really too much for anyone else. But the thing is, talking about it, I know that does not mean I’ll be made to talk about it. Or I’ll be done thinking about it and feel about it.
I just want to do the right thing, and really believe that any story I just told Reese. And in a way, I am grateful that I have been an idiot such dispassionate all my life, because it makes it so much easier to throw myself completely in this.
I do not want to spend all your life as if you are recovering from the injury of it, but I’m not willing to feed a bunch of crap about God’s plan either. I know that would make things easier, but easier does not count -. To me
And, yes, I need the story, too. I need a tightly packed something I can check in from time to time when it’s hard and I start to feel a vague resentment toward the universe. So I’m working on it, and it’s coming along in all its messy, tearful, joyous ways.