Even in 2016, women who choose donor eggs as a way to start or expand their families still seem to face an avalanche of judgment and contempt for a society that is not quite ready to talk about it. Advanced as it may be, our modern culture has not yet learned to shed light on infertility or adopt new ways to motherhood. Women who choose to use donor eggs carry their babies in their wombs and labor through all the same pains of childbirth and parenting as “normal” mothers do … however, still suffer stigma surrounding the conception of their child.
in an effort to avoid revealing an election that many see as taboo, many mothers egg donor closet themselves in secrecy and silence -. even your friends and family who can not understand or accept their decision
pregnancy and the Hierarchy of how
Among the women struggling with infertility, seems to be what Amy Klein, journalist and donor-egg receptor, described as the hierarchy of how. In his article, it is that my baby?, Amy describes a totem of acceptable methods of fertility :. “Sex simply” at the top, IVF treatment, and finally “third party reproduction” all the way at the bottom
at the lowest rung are options such as adoption, sperm donation and surrogate mothers, who have achieved mainstream acceptance and considerable air time in Hollywood movies. But what about women who use donor eggs? Away from the spotlight, these women tend to protect against stigmatization of society and the harsh wrath of those who simply do not understand.
Fighting taboos choosing donor eggs
fear and frustration of infertility often leaves a woman feel emotionally raw, stripped the spiritual armor that otherwise would protect her against the insidious and ambiguous comments from others. That is why it is so important to shed light on these myths and misconceptions, so that as women, we are all equipped with truth and compassion we need to reclaim our experiences and our rights to motherhood.
“ Less than a mother”
Too often, women who choose egg donation are rejected as second-class mothers. Fortunately, even science does not agree with this argument. In fact, scientific studies continue to show that babies born do not feel, learn, perceive emotions and forming interpersonal bonds during the 9 months in the womb. Epigenetics (the study of how the environment shapes gene expression) teaches us that mothers of donor egg shape everything from the health of the child to his temperament, and forming bonds of attachment and mothers and fierce children during 40 weeks of gestation.
Unfortunately, because our society tends to value a genetic connection over an emotional dependent on the mother to know better.
“ is rare or unnatural”
protected in complex medical procedures, many are quick to donors label fertilization the egg as weird or unnatural rather than taking the time to study what the process is really all about. Even the adoption – in which the new mother does not share any genetic relationship with your new child – is culturally couth to be assisted by another woman to conceive a baby
Many do not realize that a donor fertilized eggs contains. half of the parental genes and is carried by the mother, who also happens in some of their DNA to their new child. More importantly, while egg donation may not be the most traditional path to pregnancy, no woman should be felt abnormal to choose this option.
“ Designer babies”
Donors are carefully screened and selected by a couple and often are chosen for their pristine medical history, superior intelligence and attractive appearance. And although this freedom of choice is not something we have against the adoptive parents, couples who opt for egg donation are often criticized for creating a “designer baby”, rather than roll the dice naturally.
“ It’s your fault. You have waited too long.” Fault
and blames the earth with the subtlety of an atomic missile in the landscape and sensitive woman which you are struggling with infertility. Unfortunately, that it does not prevent other people judge women to delay pregnancy until later in life
More than other treatment options fertility, egg donation are strongly associated with aging. – Although women against infertility at any age can resort to egg donation. Pessimists can silently or openly shame women to prioritize other life goals during pregnancy despite misinformation about the correlation between declining fertility with age our society openly propagates. Contrary to the many celebrities involved in the baby boom of over 40, for 45 years, women only have one chance 3-4% of having a baby naturally and for many women the realities of decreased fertility come as a very unexpected shock.
How to have a conversation with a mother who used Donor eggs
If you are having a conversation with a new mother about her choice of using egg donation , ask questions rather than assuming. If you do not understand something, express their genuine curiosity. Approaching the mother with compassion and try not to project onto her the stigma that society has come to you. Make every effort to create a space where women feel supported and encouraged to share their truth openly and honestly.
adoption, sperm donation and surrogacy have each made their way from the barrier stigmatized and general acceptance, but it is a process that takes time and requires brave new talks. The difficult decision to receive egg donation can be a lifesaver for a woman wanting to start or grow your family, and she is counting on those closest to her for compassion -. No criticism