Again and again, I hear people talk about how hard it is to raise good children. Yes, raising children is hard! You will not hear me arguing with that! In fact I totally agree with that sentiment.
… But raising good kids?
I think it is our job as parents to raise good adults .
Too often we as parents focus on their good grades when we should focus on their character .
We are concerned more about if they make the cut for a sports team rather than the way react for the news.
try to give them what they want instead of showing what need .
Parenting can be confused. At a time when social media can crawl and dominate their lives and become their influence, we must be more vigilant and extraordinarily purpose.
When I became a father I quickly realized I needed a plan and a good resource. Here are some of my most frequented ,, led, well used, nest eggs revisited both now shreds of my arsenal are presented.
Resources can be people.
it really takes a village to raise a child. When the mine was small it was very tempting to keep them at home where he felt safe, but as they have grown into teenagers have learned the value of older siblings, cousins, colleagues, coaches, youth pastors, neighbors, colleagues work, and especially grandparents who are literally saints in our house.
Funny, I was sharing with my husband recently I miss those days when she was a superwoman who knew everything. Those were the days when my lunch hosted visits at school and could not wait to introduce his new friends to me. It was right on virtually every subject and revered as the most beautiful woman to walk on earth.
Now that they are teenagers, know everything themselves (ahem), I am no longer in style, I have a great appreciation for family and friends in our circle who are now more I estimated and knowledgeable. 😉 Build your circle carefully, because you become who you surround yourself! (And this is also what I tell my children.)
As I was a single mother of seven, this was especially critical. Footnote: Single mothers, you rock. You do the impossible: that are superwoman
But those children still need good men in your life to help guide them. They are out there. Reach their parents, siblings, in-laws, friends and co-workers to find someone willing to show their children and teach them love hard work, responsibility and character.
I was incredibly blessed to have my father, friends, and Sunday school teachers willing to spend time with my kids, play ball, go to their ball games, and even hold them accountable for bad choices .
If they are small, it is easy to assume that you are enough. After all, they always want you. You can not even urinate on himself!
As they grow, however, it will look to others to guide them. Should: the way they are connected. Be sure to put these people in your life for later, especially when you are wise and omniscient mother.
This weekend was difficult in our house, full of tears and difficult decisions. Our community together to address one of our teenagers who have been struggling for some time with addiction and poor life choices. It had become hurt himself and others that leaves us no choice but aside what our house. I’m not talking about drugs or alcohol. There are many forms of addiction affecting our children today. Video games take on top, along with pornography terribly growing at a rapid pace.
was a harrowing experience, but ultimately, our son decided to walk through the doors of a center that will work hard to get rid of their addictions grip had on him. A good guy with a sharp mind and boundless possibilities, he had found an alternative world live in coping with childhood trauma unknowingly making his life more difficult and complicated.
In today’s world, with so many broken families, this is an all too common occurrence. Like her mother, knowing that the pain of his childhood, all I wanted to do was cradle of him and pour love into it, not realizing blister that grows beneath the surface, hot by the impact of a branding iron emotional which he had taken over at a tender age and never healed. No matter how much you love, sometime these blisters open and pour poison on everything around them break.
are difficult to find, but if you have a teenager who fight you need more than you can give, do not give up: reach out and get help! There are many programs out there. Yes, some are ridiculously expensive, but others are affordable and some even free.
The National Guard has a program in most states it is for teens who are struggling still have not had problems with the law. Most teenagers these programs are addicted to technology and are failing at school, or worse, the development of addictive behaviors more to address the lack of a thriving childhood. They see their friends and brothers growing in maturity and achievements, while in their struggle to move away from the screen and learn work ethic and self-discipline.
Everyone looks different. For us this weekend, our community consisted of grandparents, older cousins and siblings. For you could be uncles, friends, teachers, coaches or sponsors.
The compensating their community knows that reach is not a sign of weakness or disability. It is a sign of love that would do anything for his son. is given to other people in their lives, people also like the opportunity to participate, guide, and pour his love into them, showing the teenager how many are there for, love, and want the best for he she.
Please pray for our child with me and let me know if you have a teenager struggling, who needs prayer too.
books! Books! Books!
I kept storming the library shelves when I was waiting and when they were tiny and took naps!
Paper books may be going out of fashion, but those old relics are still full of timeless support for the upbringing and education of children. Although times have changed and the surface are struggling with different times of our parents and grandparents, development fundamentals remain the same.
Books like Ages and Stages Child Behavior and The strong character of Children (I have a few copies!) helped me stay grounded. These child development books are broken down into small little pieces and gave me an understanding of what can be expected around certain ages.
Not all children suit each category, but as a guide to these books helped me understand that my kids where in the development and why they behaved as they did, taking the frustration of the moment away and replace it with ‘Oh, thank heaven, I’m not the only mother clearly deal with this. “That also sent my blood pressure again and my patience level to a more appropriate place in my home!
The 5 Love Languages of Children the 5 Love Languages of teenagers and the 5 love languages blessings in our house have for years! we all feel love differently and can easily feel loveless misunderstood when we all speak different languages.
for years I took my children felt the love that was giving him through hugs and kisses and keep them in my lap, holding hands and spending quality time with them. How have not felt that? it was not until I read Gary Chapman books about the 5 love languages I realized that while ‘knew’ that I wanted, I was not sending messages I thought it was.
Oh, some of the children share the physical contact as a language of love and heard loud and clear, but with 6 of them were others who needed hear more often than I thought and felt for them in order to feel the same love. Still, some of the other children need small tokens or even acts of service to feel truly loved.
My husband and I are different in the ways we show love. Understand and appreciate these differences has magnified the way we love each other. Teach your children to understand their natural tendencies and learn to love their brothers, preparing them for future relations in the future as adults. I love this quote from my husband, “Families achieve more when mom and dad are on the same page.”
In today’s world, our children are hit every left turn and right with sexual images and messages that are not in line with our core values. I can not stress enough how important books like God’s design for sex series are. These books begin work at 3-5 years of age The Story of Me and go all the way through What’s the big deal? for ages 8-11 and face the reality for ages 11-14.
These books help parents teach their children how sex can be a beautiful intimate blessing instead of relying on others, social networking, television, music and programs ‘sex education’ to push children in poor decision making that end in distress, trauma, addictions, and distress that can be felt for the rest of their lives. Do not leave it to someone else to talk to their children about sex!
Adolescents and young adults
As our children grew older we started finding books that were more specific gender, life goals, and life of personal faith. Raising a Modern Knight Day has been instrumental in giving my husband and children a map to plan special activities and ceremonies that shape and assert their growth from boys men with clearly defined goals and objectives. Now they are becoming young men, all of them are reading Wild at Heart together discover how passion, strength and male wild adventures turns in men God calls them to be.
While girls are the youngest of six and we are running a bit behind the guys, we have discovered some wonderful books that are beginning to sink in. raising daughters Raising a princess today and Battle of Every woman Young are becoming our go-to books as they traverse the unforgiving world of unrealistic female expectations and how body image and self-esteem destroyed, robbing them of their confidence, innocence and purity.
appreciation of the real Battle of Every Woman Young gets completely open and blatant real issues. I was hesitant at first to start this with my girls, thinking it might be too crude to age, but at 12, 13 and 15, nothing that I read was a surprise for them. The book has become a way to open discussions on difficult issues.
As a family we have spent many hours during family gatherings going through books and programs to help teach character traits, identify the strengths of each child, personalities, form in learning, goal setting, and more.
Use the information at your fingertips :! Online
With so much information at your fingertips, it’s easy to find resources to help you and your family.
There are lots of wonderful blogs on the internet now, and still many many many of them. However, there are several blogs I’ve been following for years that are timeless in their approach to the upbringing and education of children. I always find reading your newsletters and messages of social media for inspiration and encouragement …
And now I’m super excited to share Ziglar Family , inspired by the unwavering wisdom of Zig Ziglar. This is a project that my husband is at the forefront of the passion for parenting and family built on the firm foundation of Ziglar heritage.
So now I’ve shared my favorite … your turn!